New and Beautiful...

It's funny, after looking back on some of my old journal/blog entries from April and May of last year i realized something; i thought i knew what God was telling me then...i found out i was half right, but He was teaching me and preparing me for so much more than i ever could have imagined then. May of last year was a horrible month that i cringe at thinking back on, but i grew spiritually during that time. Thank you Jesus for the painful times, because that's when my walls and defences come undone and i finally see you, i am drawn to you, and then i become who you created me to be...i become more like You. You make all things new.

Our God makes all things new. He makes all things beautiful in it's time. I love that. He can take the most horrible situations and the most painful things, and bring His redemptive touch to it and it's new and beautiful again. Our God is lovely and i'm continuously in awe of Him.



Revelation 21:5 "Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful."



New and beautiful, your redemption makes me new -

God makes all things beautiful in it's time. Oh God make me beautiful in your eyes. Through all life's trials and wounds, through all the storms and lightning strikes. And through every drop of blood and every tear, and every scar, make your perfect light shine through, and make my cut and bruised heart new. For it is in your eyes i long to dwell, in your presence i make my home, so please dear Jesus make me a beautiful heart and bring your light to shine out the filth and dirt. I am broken, Father. I am lying filthy in the mud. But you pick me up and dance with me. You give me new garments and wash me clean, you make me feel beautiful again.




Ecclesiastes 3:11
"He has made everything beautiful in its time."


Isaiah 61:10 "I will be full of joy in the Lord, my soul will be glad in my God; for he has put on me the clothing of salvation, covering me with the robe of righteousness, as the husband puts on a fair head-dress, and the bride makes herself beautiful with jewels."


Zechariah 3:4 "And he spoke and said unto those that stood before him, saying, Take away the filthy garments from off him. And unto him he said, See, I have caused thine iniquity to pass from thee, and I clothe thee with festival-robes."






~Cecily Priscilla

A Walk Down Pop Music Memory Lane - My Pop Music Playlist

Last night i was reading through some blogs on Xanga and came across one that a girl had posted listing her favorite pop songs of the '90's and early 2000's. I loved reading through this girls list, it brought back so many memories! I was a huge bubble gum popper back in '98-2000, probably because my older sister Krystal was too...i blame her! Anycats, because both Krys and i were huge '90's pop fans we decided to make a playlist of our own favorite songs from that time. All the songs on the lists remind me of dancing around my room with my best friend, pretending that we were "famous" singers lol, or riding around town with Krys and our cousins Erika, Pam, and Ashley, just laughing about random things...and me telling them how they were never going to marry Justin Timberlake haha. Fun times!!! So here's to going down memory lane...pop style! haha. As Switchfoot would say "You can shut your ears and your eyes, but pop will never leave you alone". Cheers!



~Cecily's '90's and Early 2000 Pop Music Playlist~

1.Never Ever - All Saints
2.Candy - Mandy Moore
3.Slave For You - Britney Spears
4.Too Much - Spice Girls
5.Mamma Mia - A Teens
6.Ce st La Vi - Be*witched
7.Smile - Vitamin C
8.Say My Name - Destiny's Child
9.If You Had My Love - Jenifer Lopez
10. Bidi Bidi Bom Bom- Selena
11.So Emotional - Christina Aguilera
12.Talk To Me - Wild Orchid
13.Crush - Jennifer Page
14.Where My Girls At - 702
15.Wanna Be A Baller - Lil Troy
16.Summer Girls - LFO
17.Ray Of Light - Madonna
18.There You Go - Pink
19.Mambo Number 5 - Lou Bega
20.Scrubs - TLC

~Honorable Mentions~

21.Don't Say You Love Me - M2M
22.Miami - Will Smith
23.Como La Flor - Selena

So you'll notice that my list is missing two really popular boy bands from the '90's...Nsync and Backstreet Boys. I HATED both groups..mainly because my sister and cousins LOVED them and that annoyed me...oh how i was tortured by those dang boys music! BUT, my playlist felt incomplete without including at least one song by each group. So here is, the only two songs that i kinda liked by two boy bands i hated.

1. Girlfriend - *Nsync
2. Everybody - Backstreet Boys



~Krystal's 90's and Early 2000 Pop Music Playlist ~

1. I Want You Back - *Nsync
2. Everybody - Backstreet Boys
3. (You Drive Me) Crazy - Britney Spears
4. Genie In A Bottle - Christina Aguilera
5. The Things You Do - 5ive
6. Talk To Me - Wild Orchid
7. I'll Be There For You - Solid Harmonie
8. Summer Girls - LFO
9. Never Ever - All Saints
10. Viva Forever - Spice Girls
11. Crush - Jennifer Paige
12. Someday - Sugar Ray
13. My favorite Mistake - Sheryl Crow
14. Uninvited - Alanis Morissette
15. The Music Sounds Better With You - Stardust
16. Mirror, Mirror - M2M
17. Waiting For Tonight - Jennifer Lopez
18. Candy - Mandy Moore
19. I'm Gonna Love You Forever - Jessica Simpson
20 (Tie) Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer & Rollercoaster - Be*Witched

~Honorable Mention ~
22. Scrubs - TLC
23. Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

~Hated Pop Songs ~
1. Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
2. MMMBop - Hanson




~Cecily Priscilla

Beautiful Again...

At times of brokenness i find myself feeling unpretty, i don't feel beautiful when i am broken down and thrown out. If i am to be completely honest, sometimes i feel as beautiful as used up trash, crumpled up and thrown away in the dump. Life makes me feel like that sometimes, people and situations make me feel used. Dirt and mud in my cuts and scrapes, my face scuffed. I long to feel beautiful again. I long to feel clean and pure, my heart and mind, and soul longs to be cleansed. I desperately want to feel beautiful again, not outwardly, but inwardly beautiful...i want to be redeemed, baptized in the grace and purity of The Almighty God. Bright, shinny and new. Pure, set apart and renewed. Like sunrise on the first day of Spring, new and golden. Breathing in fresh pure air.


"Arise sweet daughter, morning's sunrise is on the horizon, you're just as stunning. You're becoming free, just like I intended. So be free my precious daughter, run and take all creation in, it's for you. Morning's sunrise is always new" my Father tells me, "Just like Your mercies" i say back. "Just like your future", my Father replies.

Sunrises are beautiful things...new beginnings and redemption are too.


I want to be held by someone who won't leave me. I long to feel protected and safe. Beautiful and valued, that's how i want to see myself, that's how i want to be treated. My heart above all else is scarred up, it has so many cuts and bruises, many, way too many, have been there since i was a child. Other scars are fresh and healing, others by the grace of God have healed. To be healed, to be whole and beautiful, to be loved...oh how those words leave me feeling so empty. Words are not my favorite things, i prefer actions. I don't put much stock in the words that are spoken to me, especially when they are coming from the mouth of a man, i never have. I need to see. I need action, not pretty words, not temporary apologies that all to soon turn into knifes and stab my soul once again. Show me you love me, show me in how you treat me, show me in respect and honor. Listen to me, and trust my thoughts and ideas. Care for me, but know that i am strong and can take care of myself. Don't control me. Don't hover over me and keep tabs. Don't make judgements, but let me make my own choices, my own mistakes. Let me have my own opinions, ideas, and personality. Embrace me, all of my heart and mind, and love me despite my flaws, praying them away instead of cutting them with your sharp tongue. Encourage me, tell me you believe in me, and that you're by my side no matter the outcome. When i cry, lend me your shoulder, and wipe my tears away. Talk to me when i'm upset, and listen to me rant, giving sound advice when needed. And hug me, take me in your arms, and hug me so very, very tightly. That's what i want, that's what i've always needed.


My Heavenly Father gives me all of those things and more, and yet, i still want it here on earth...My Abba will supply all my needs accordingly. I love my Savior, i love him so very deeply.



~ Cecily Priscilla

Sometimes...I Want To Punch You...

Sometimes i want to punch you. We're are never on the same page, and when i'm here you're not and when you're there i'm not...and it's all so screwed up and nonsensical. Your words are like knifes even when they're pretty, even when they are not directed at me. Your words which used to sooth me and make me so happy, now just serve to kill me...they sting, sting more than i could have ever imagined. They knock the breath out of me, but then again, you have always knocked the breath out of my lungs...in every good and bad way. Why can't you just go away, go away...i don't want you to go away, i can't let you go.

And everything just makes me anxious. And everything just makes me cry. Why did you hurt me so deeply, why did you never say the word "goodbye". You did it to save your own skin, you did it to keep the door open. But honey, this door is tattered and stripped. And it's getting cracked and unhinged from trying to fight gravity and stay open waiting for you to come through it. So "let me pull it closed, let me nail it shut", is what i pray to our dear God. But even when i pray those words to make you wash away, a second later i'm praying for a second chance with your cold heart.

When you are here, it feels as if you are sucking the life out of me, my soul pulls and my breath becomes shallow. The tears in my eyes i can not contain, and they run down my check. The blood in my veins you do take my dear, leaving me nothing to sustain my heart and mind. And then, just as quick as you came, you disappear in the night, and my breath returns and my lungs inflate. I gasp as i breathe life in again, tired, and my limbs blue. I'm light headed and dizzy, spinning, spinning, spinning from the throws, punches and twists of your love. You honey, knock the breath out of me. Missing you sweet friend, makes me dead and then brings me to life again, i become the walking dead because i can't wash your poison from my veins.



~ Cecily Priscilla

Songs From The Cd Player I Call My Mind, Aka, My Playlists

So it's no secret to my friends and family that i adore making mix cds, i think everyone i know or have known has at least 3 mixes from me lol. It's a passion of mine. My dream is to one day pursue a career in radio so arranging playlists just seems like an important thing to do. When i make a mix i spend hours choosing the right songs and arranging them in the perfect order...the order of a track listing is so important and it can make or break a cd. The track order can create a mood if done right, it can inspire feelings of hope, happiness, healing, or motivation. When i give someone a mix i am giving a part of myself to that person, i am giving a bit of my heart through a cd. I also love receiving mixes, my friend Amanda and i send mixes back and forth to each other (we live hours apart) and i love it. I always look forward to receiving a mix made by her for me, and i enjoy personalizing a playlist with her in mind. You learn a lot about someone through the songs they listen to and choose to share with you. So since i have such a passion for mixes i thought i'd start posting my playlists here in my blog. I hope you take the time and check out the songs for yourselves, and maybe burn the mix on a cd of yours. Cheers!

I will focus on two mixes today, the first is one that i just finished but had been written in my mind for a while now.

Playlist Title: "All dolled up and ready to take over the world, yo! Or at least make you pray i was yours, baby"

Getting ready for your day is important, the way you present yourself to the world says who you are and shows what you think of yourself. But you can't just have the look, yes the makeup and hair is important, but you must have the attitude, you must be sassy. And to get you in that sassy "I'm adorable and unique, and i can take you on" attitude, you must have the right music playing while you go about your beauty routine. This is my perfect "get ready" mix, each song gets me in a playful and rockin mood, and leaves me feeling sassy,sexy,beautiful,feminine, and most importantly confident, encouraged, and empowered.

Track Listing:

1. I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage
2. Lithium - Nirvana
3. Oh! Emetophobia - Showbread
4. One Girl Revolution - Superchick
5. Free To Be Me - Francesca Battistelli
6. Hush - Inhabited
7. Fever - Family Force 5
8. Juice Box - The Strokes
9. Beautiful - Tristan Prettyman and Jason Mraz
10. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry
11. Girls Just Want To Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
12. Motion - Plumb
13. Shine - Krystal Meyers
14. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
15. Hello - Hawk Nelson
16. Right Round - Flo Rida
17 Make D*** Sure - Taking Back Sunday
18. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
19. London Bridge - Fergie
20. Dance Dance Dance - Lykke Li
21. Rock 'N Roll Queen - The Subways
22. Superstar - Stephanie Smith


The next mix i'm posting is one from last year, created on August 4th '09, it has some good memories attached.

Paylist Title: "August '09 Sort of Road Trip Mix"

So this is one of my very favorite mixes i've made, personally i think every song fits just right. It has just the right amount of upbeat to mellow ratio, filled with some dance, rock, pop,and melodic songs. I made it for a sort of road trip with someone back in August of '09, and though we talked through most of it lol, the person i was driving with enjoyed it, and that made me very happy.


Track Listing:

1. Juicebox - The Strokes
2. Drive My Car - The Beatles
3. California - Hawk Nelson
4. If I Ever Leave This World Alive - Flogging Molly
5. Summertime - Mae
6. Bring Em Out - Hawk Nelson
7. Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
8. Rewind - Deas Vail
9. Play It Loud - Mxpx
10. Oh! Emetophobia - Showbread
11. Trollywood - Eisley
12. Hot Cooking - G-Love
13. Make D*** Sure - Taking Back Sunday
14. Soul Meets Body - Death Cab For Cutie
15. Car Song - Elastica
16. Mouth Like A Magazine - Showbread
17. I Woke Up In A Car - Something Corporate
18. Rock 'N Roll Queen - The Subways
19. Are You Going To Be My Girl - Jet
20. Late Show - Hawk Nelson
21. Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
22. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - Anberlin (The Smiths cover)



~ Cecily Priscilla

Brokenhearted, believe.

I wrote this sometime in early October '09, it was inspired by watching the music video for Britt Nicole's song "Believe". It turned into a sort of letter to myself, and to you, a reminder that when pain comes you always have hope, for God makes all things new, you just have to believe.


Oh brokenhearted, believe in love again. Oh confused, start to see from God's view. Oh desperate and seeking, lonely and bleeding, believe. Just believe, and hope, and rest, and receive...and never stop. Never forget, oh no, dear heart, don't you ever, ever forget, that there is a reason for you. There is a reason. And there is a hope. There is love in the midst of pain. Imitations may come, and they may leave you in pieces, but know that real unconditional, never changing and everlasting love is right there with you, And His name Abba, our Father. His name is Jehovah-raah, our shepherd. His name is Jehovah-shalom, our peace. His name is Jehovah-rophe, our healer. His name is God Almighty. His name is Love.



~ Cecily Priscilla

Silent Company...

I feel like being quiet tonight friend, it seems as though you do too, though i can't help but think that you deep down feel like talking all night...and i must confess that deep down i feel like talking all night with you. But maybe tonight silence is what we need, maybe we should just sit back and enjoy each others silent company...like we used to.


I'm not sure what we're doing here, what is going on. What are you thinking? Are my intentions looking clear?


~ Cecily Priscilla