Coffee and Boys – A Bitter Drink of Bad Memories

The other day my sister and I were discussing coffee and our favorite drinks from Starbucks, when I got to thinking about the one drink I can’t bring myself to order again…a drink that, Lord help me, unfortunately reminds me of…my ex. Ugh! What drink is this you ask?

The lovely and oh so addicting, Caramel Frappuccino.

It all started one summer night in 2009, when i fell for a Starbucks employee with tight jeans and a Dave Grohl complex.

(imagine this is my ex…just with hair and skinny jeans…and white skin…this guys is hotter though)

This is what my ex really looked like

(Okay, okay, I'm done…it’s so fun though!)

He was scruffy and had great taste in music and books, and his err “hugs” made me melt. Plus he liked cats. I thought he was pretty swell.

Obviously this was before his true colors surfaced and his selfishness and pure stupidity and jerkiness came out…no, I’m not bitter, I’m just honest.

Anyway, one day Starbucks boy and I spent the day together in Dallas. Boy lived in Arlington, so I was staying with my cousin and her husband in Ft. Worth for a couple days to visit with him. When boy picked me up in the morning to hang, he texted me and asked if I wanted coffee, I said yes and told him to pick me something. He then brought me what went down as the YUMMIEST Caramel frap I have ever tasted in my life! (It looked exactly like the picture above! Hells yeah! Now you know why i thought i loved him)

Seeing as boy was a seasoned employee at the corporate coffee store known as Starbucks, he knew how to make the drinks taste like freakin heaven, and told the “barista” to make mine with lots and lots of caramel and toffee nut syrup. Boy would tell the “barista” to swirl the caramel in and all around the drink, leaving this thing dipping in thick, sweet, gooey caramel goodness! I mean like even the freakin straw and cup were dipping out the caramel! And don’t get me started on the toffee nut syrup! Pure heaven! :)

I had that same drink three times while we visited together those days. They were sweet days. I, much to my detriment, realized I loved him while sitting with him outside of his store at night drinking that dang caramel frap, looking in his eyes and seeing God radiate through him (Ha!) as he told me he saw the same in me (hence the reason I hate Landon Pig’s song “Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop lol).

Really, I blame the drink for the love feeling…too much sugar can do odd things to the heart.

We went our very, very separate ways later on. It hurt and gave me very vindictive thoughts about punching him, egging his car…and many other violent un-Christian things. Then I realized “whoa, he was dumb! I can do wayyyy better!” and I became stronger and wiser and moved on to happiness and lots good things…cuz I deserve them :)

And while my heart has completely moved on, my taste buds and sense of smell has not. I have not ordered the caramel frap since we split.

Tragic isn’t it?

For a long time I could not go near a Starbucks; it felt too much like him. I would see a Starbucks employee and I would want to punch and bite them. (mmm, barista blood…)I hated the color green.

Then one day I was in Brenham with my cousin’s and their friend, and we all went and sat at a Starbucks. I actually felt comfortable there. I didn’t feel like i wanted to jump out of my skin. I wasn’t hyper ventilating so I thought “hey this must be progress!”. I like progress.

Then, it was my turn to order…panic flashed through my soul. What would I tell the coffee lady I wanted to drink? I could not order the Caramel Frappuccino of heart stabbing love! So I turned to my cousin’s husband, who earlier had told me about the drink he usually orders, and asked him to repeat the drink name to me. He said “White Mocha, get it iced.” So I turned to the lady and said “I’ll take a Tall Iced White Mocha, please”.

And the rest was history. The Iced White Mocha became my drink. It’s yummy sweet indulgence, with an espresso kick, and I love it. It’s the prefect pick me up for bad days, and I love ordering it after class when I’m running on just a couple hours of sleep and stressed; it makes me smile :) Thanks to my cousin’s husband I could return to drinking coffee at Starbucks.

Never the less, while I can now go to and enjoy Starbucks, I still have yet to order the Caramel Frap again. During the conversation had with my sister we discussed this, and she made me realize that I should never let a dumb boy’s stupid actions take my coffee enjoyment away. After all, I didn’t do anything wrong in our friendship/relationship, so why should I suffer?

So, upon this big life altering revelation, I decided it is now time to face my fear and broken memories, and drink the Caramel Frappuccino again, and make new, happier, and longer lasting memories with its yummy goodness.

My sister and I are planning on sharing one this week after my class. I’ll let you know how it goes, ha! Stay tuned ;)

~Oh, and a little closing disclaimer; if you (yes you Starbucks boy) ever see this blog, which I very much doubt you ever will, but if you do, then you might find it to be kind of amusing and kind of creepy; which is cool, because that’s how I think of you. Yays we’re even :D ~

~ Cecily Priscilla