Hello dear old blog,
It's been a long while. I moved to a new blogging space when i got married that more represents the life i have with my husband. But i miss this place. This place where i have safety and where my heart has been poured out over the years.
So here i am again.
Lately life has been getting ready to change. Or i am getting ready to change. Life has been waiting for me for a while but like always i have been dragging my heels in protest.
In this season i think my biggest challenge is trust and surrender....not that it always hasn't been. If you go back through this blog of mine i am sure you will find very similar thoughts spilled out.
I was reading Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist the other day and she was talking about swimming and how if you are in the ocean and try to stand against a wave it will smash you to bits but if you let it carry you you will be okay. That's where i am in life right now, somewhere between standing with my feet buried in the sand and ready to let go and be carried.
Oh how tired my body is from this clinching of fists and locking of knees. I want to just let go and float and let the waves carry me but i am so scared of the unknown waters.
How beautiful it could be to be as Jesus and say "Into Your hands I commit my spirit".
I know it is time to let God do the growing and sailing. Too long i have been stagnant and selfish, in love with my own life and time. Not that loving my life is bad, but staying in one place when i know God wants to take me to new waters is. No longer can i be the little girl anymore. It's time to step up. It's time to grow, It's time to see what God has planned.
And i know if i do let go and surrender and trust it could be something more beautiful then i ever imaged.
Father, help me trust in you and your path. Put strength in me to become the woman you intended.
~C
