Speak Softly

Speak softly to me baby
Hold me close tonight. 
I need to feel close to you 
Need to feel alright.

Lately life has been crazy and we are both tired
So speak softly to me baby
Until the morning light.

I need to feel your soft lips against mine 
And i need to hear you whisper to me tonight. 
To feel your warm breath on my skin 
And to feel wanted, needed and alive again.

You may think me needy 
And i admit it's true 
My sweet boy i just need you.

These days are harsh 
And they have left me burned through 
On this night i just need some sweet talk with you.

So speak softly to me my baby
Please hold me close tonight. 
Tell me you'll always love me 
And this life will be alright.


~CW

To See Beauty

I want to cover my body in paint; beautiful bursts of colors.

I want to swim in the rain and bathe in the sun rays.

Roll in the soft green grass, run through the woods, dip my feet in the cool creak and feel what it is like to truly breathe.

I want to see beauty.

To feel the wind on my skin and the earth under my bare heels, spend the daylight in the sun and the night counting the stars.

I need to feel free, like i have a divine destiny. But these days i feel old and colorless and alone.

I was made to live with reckless abandon, made to dance in white dresses. So where is my dress and where is my adventure? I think I've been looking away from the divine picture.

My soul is tired from these normal days and yet i can't find the will to change.

Then you come in like a cool fall wind, breathe into my lungs and remind me to exhale again.

"You are never consumed" you say, "you are never alone", "my love goes with you wherever you go".

In the stillness of the moment you meet me there and move me to believe your love is truly all i need.

You are the beauty i long to see.



"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” - Lamentations 3:22-24




~CW

Sicky thoughts and overdue emotions...

I feel not so good tonight...sick being one of the reasons. But there are others.

I think that so many times i focus on other people and their well being that i forget about mine. I'm a worrier...if someone i love is in pain that is all i think about. But, in doing that i push off my own emotions and eventually they come up to bite me.

I'm a little overwhelmed with my own feelings as of late...i know  it's the enemy attacking my happiness but i can't help but give in and really believe its true. I strive so much for perfection. I always have  but at this moment in life its is all i want. All these insecurities and wants are popping up and i feel a bit out of control.

Life is a bit stressful right now with my husband having a big project deadline in the next couple months so i know i shouldn't be focusing on my issues but be helping him...but that's just it, when he works a lot all i have is time to focus on my issues.

I'm not sure what it is these days...or maybe i am...idk. I just feel like someone striving for everything and nothing at the same time. Maybe i'm board...maybe i'm lonely...maybe i just feel like i have something to prove. I'm pretty sure its the last one. All i know is i am about to burst in tears...or go on a big shopping binge...neither one will be pretty.

I've discovered something about myself: i am an emotional shopper. Yup. I am not proud of this. Thankfully i also have a hate for spending money so it equals and hasn't gotten bad...i just spend a long time on clothing sites and browse but not buy (that often).

I just feel like if i don't change my life now it will never change, i will feel this way forever and at this moment i don't think i can take that. I'm sick of feeling the way i have for most my life and i want to be over it. Just change it and be done with this crap.

Anycats, i guess i better get my sick self to bed. Hope for new mercies is want keeps me going. Goodnight world.


~Cec