Saturday, December 24, 2011
Salsa,tums, and love...
Saturday, September 3, 2011
To sail…
Have you ever wanted to just sail away, in the ocean so blue? When gray skies cloud your days and emotions drown you. When tired tears are all you have, and tired eyes have given out, don’t you want to just sail away? This is what I dream about...
A big boat with room only for two, a soaring sail white and torn, proudly displaying its tattered ends from many storms.
Star filled skies to let our thoughts rest upon, salty air to breathe; the ocean breeze would cool our skin, as we find the chance to begin again.
What a blessed thing to know, the sweet freedom that comes as the waves take you in tow; the freedom of the open sea, the freedom to explore what’s out of reach, the freedom and space to let love settle in its new home, the time, space and freedom, to let us all grow.
Oh, let this heart be made new, let these eyes be renewed, let these tears fall into the sea, let this worn ship carry me.
To the ends of the earth, to the bottom of the sea, let these cares fall away, let this worn ship carry me.
~Cecily Priscilla
Monday, August 22, 2011
Submit to the process
Do you ever have those moments where insanity seems to make sense? Like you actually think you may be going insane? Thinking over my life so far this year makes me think that. Not because my year has been bad, on the contrary, it has been crazy wonderful for the most part; but the sheer surprise and emotional drain it has taken makes me laugh and cry at the same time. My heart has been on emotional overdrive for months now. I’ve been just taking what comes as it comes and not really processing.
My life over the past 6 months has been pretty much a whorl wind, a really happy and new whorl wind of blessing. In that time, I finished and graduated from bible school and fell in love again. I’ve been pretty much on cloud 9 since about March.
Until now. When everything in my life seems very uncertain and directionless.
When the year started I was in my last half of bible school, learning about God and studying the Word constantly. I had my little weekly routine and I loved it. I loved getting to be taught by some inspiring and scripturally knowledgeable men and women of God. I got to be in a classroom with the sweetest, most heartwarming people, and I got used to walking in the classroom and opening up my bible and notebook ready to learn. It was a beautiful time in my life.
Around the last few months of school a certain very kind and charming man came into the picture. I started to get used to him as well. He made me smile and laugh more than I ever had.
I graduated from bible school on June 1st and naturally went straight into spending my free time with my new boyfriend. I’ve had the blessing of spending most my summer days with this very sweet guy, being happy and creating memories. Sadly the constant spending time together has had to stop while life has taken us to long distance, 15 hours away from each other.
And now, without him and without school, I am finding it hard to figure out just where I need to be, and what I need to do. I’m in the weird between stage of what I want, what I’m ready for, and what God actually thinks I need.
It’s a very frustrating process, and being my very controlling self, I want to know how it will all work out.
I want things I’m not ready for; this is a very hard fact to accept when you want so badly to be ready for what you desire. It’s maddening. The heart tends to always be ahead of circumstance and our dreams ahead of God. The sad thing is that I know that what I need is going to take time, but what scares me more than that is that it’s going to take waiting in the dark. Waiting in the unknown. I’ve never been good with the unknown. I just wish my clock and God’s clock were in sync…with his being in agreement with mine.
But this morning, while lying on my bed thinking of my wants, needs, and can’t haves, my face toward my window where the soft, calming sun was shining through, I heard one thing speaking in my soul; submit to the process. Just submit to the process and get on living your life.
If there’s one thing God has taught me over the last year of my life, is that I need to learn to submit to Him. Submit my life, my dreams, my wants, and my will humbly to Him. I’ve been taught this lesson so many times and every time I think I get it, and then I realize I must not have, because I never follow it through long term. And while I think submitting our will to God is a battle we will all fight from time to time in our lives, it’s something I would really like to follow through longer than just a couple months. Especially because i know that when i did start submitting to God in the past, things were a lot happier, and instead of seeing black, I could see a faint rainbow in the distance.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways.”
When I’m trying so hard to control my life, thinking I know exactly what I need and want, sulking over not getting it, that scripture humbles me. His thoughts and ways are not our thoughts and ways, they are higher. Who do we think we are to say what God should give us, what right to we have to grumble, when our Lord’s ways are higher than ours? We couldn’t’ possibly comprehend the picture he is trying to paint and the story he is writing with our lives.
Friends, if you are going through a time in life where everything feels uncertain and even painful, I encourage you to submit to the process of growing, learning, and listening. If it hurts, then go to God and ask why, but mostly, listen. Psalm 37:7 says to “be still in the presence of the Lord”, and tells us to “wait patiently for him to act”. So if you’re stuck waiting for life to move, then sit in the quiet with God. Let him grow you, and understand and accept that you may not be ready for what you want, even if you think you are or want to be. God knows when the right time to bring things to pass is. He does have a specific plan for each of our lives (Jer.29:11), and he is a faithful God. So take this time to grow into the person you need to be for the appointed time you need to be it. There are things to be learned and felt in every season of life, so submit to learning and feeling.
What I want in life is going to take time of waiting, working, and praying. Time of growing and falling hard, crying hard, getting back up and smiling again. It’s going to take patience. And it’s going to take submission to God’s clock.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” - Proverbs 3:5-6
“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." - Psalm 40:2
~Cecily Priscilla
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Nothing sad…
Ha, this made me smile on a day I couldn’t find much to smile about :)
Going to have to make a Tumbler for all these Pinterest pictures so I don’t flood this blog with them, ha.
~C
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Jumbled heart, jumbled head…
I took a trip to Georgia for almost 2 weeks to visit with Chason and meet his family. Twas lovey and wonderful to spend so much time with him. But hard because of others things. Got back Thursday night. The trip cleared my head in some ways, and also gave it so many other things to figure out. I’ll post about the trip soon. But right now my head is fuzzy, and my heart is frustrated…aaaand, I could use a nap. So here are quotes that relate to how I feel.
On a last note, I just joined Pinterest! I adore it! If you’re on there follow me! http://pinterest.com/cecilypriscilla/
~Cecily Priscilla
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Hosea 2:19-20
“I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD” – Hosea 2:19-20
That scripture spoke to me tonight. I’m sure I have read it before, but somehow tonight it’s meaning was timely. Sometimes we all need to be reminded of our Lord’s sweet love for us. We all need to be reminded of how he pursues our hearts because he longs to be with us. We are his bride. He will marry us in faithfulness and compassion…and oh, he is so faithful and compassionate.
Sometimes I don’t feel good enough. I think we all go through those moments in life. Today, I must admit, I had a hard time feeling anything but lost and empty, with nothing to offer. Less than. Like a item on the clearance rack that just doesn't live up to the rest of the beauty around it.
I don’t feel valuable on some days, days I give into the lie I must be “perfect”, I must be what everyone else wants me to be. Days like those are when I let the enemy fill my mind with his poison to throw me off track and get me to conform to what this messed up world wants me to be.
But, we were not created to be the same. We were not created to fit into the box society tries to shut us in.
We are made to be free. We are made to be unique. We were all created with strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, quirkiness and oddities…we are all one of kind creations of a big and wonderful, creative God. We are to be aliens; transformed by the renewing of our mind.
I don’t fit in this world, it does not understand who I was created to be. It’s people do not accept what my heart longs to do; bring Glory to the one and only God, and love him and others with my whole heart. I don’t care about status, I don’t care about position, I don’t care what looks good or sounds pleasing to the ears of the people who judge me. I don’t care if they think I’m odd. I am odd. But I am also something else, something no one can take away; I am loved, and I am a daughter of the King.
From now on, when I walk into a room, or face gossip or criticism for the millionth time, I will only let this one thing in my mind and heart; I am a daughter of the King, and my Father faithfully loves me.
I am betrothed forever in righteousness and faithfulness. Halleluiah. My Lord is so good to me. He loves me so unconditionally and so beautifully.
We are always enough in our Fathers eyes.
~Cecily Priscilla
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Summer sun brings changes– Snap shots from my life as of late…
It’s officially summer again…oh how i adore summer! It makes my heart happy…and it also always seems to usher in changes. Summer never fails to give my life a curve ball, and throw my heart into a tail spin of crazy wonderful. I think God winks at me through the summer sun and warm breeze of the evenings :) So much has changed and happened in the last few months and weeks, and I'm just barely getting into a new flow enough to blog it all out. I mean i turned 22 on May 28th, spent my special day/weekend with a guy who makes my heart smile and gained said guy officially as *my guy*, took finials and attend my last class at DBI, graduated from bible school on June 1st (a week earlier than planned originally) and was honored at the ceremony, and have been blessed to be spending the most happy weekends of my life with the best guy…yeah, I'm blessed. And I'm still catching my breathe to be honest. There are a lot of emotions after graduating that i need to write out, as well as other things…oh cats, i really do have so much to write here! So, to start it all off, i will post a small photo blog of snap shots from the past month. Cheers!
Destiny Bible Institute graduation…my first time being in a cap and gown (homeskool baby!)…i look weird.
Honey Bee graduation cake from Yummy Finds Eatery in Victoria :) This is my favorite flavor of cupcake there, and it it just as awesome in a cake version! Quite rich though, but so, so lovely!
Krystal and i being silly after graduation :)
Frozen Yogurt with Chason at Cherry Berry in Victoria :) We went to a late lunch/early dinner at Olive Garden, got full and napped in his truck until we were ready for ice cream, and then hit up Cherry Berry for some red velvet, birthday cake, triple chocolate, and strawberry frozen yogurt, with Skittles, and sprinkles in top!! Mmm, sooo pretty and yummy! I love skittles in frozen yogurt! Chason does not lol. Yay for pink and green spoons! Our favorite colors (awwws).
After math of the yogurt…mmm..twas worth every bite :)
Chason’s Mr. Yogurt face on a napkin…yeah, his hotness makes up for his oddness lol.. .Meh, who am i kidding, i luff it ;p
Oh cats, what a dorky and crappy photo of me lol, but i like the way we look together…and it kind of captures our relationship…i smile a lot when I'm with him :)
Chason’s idea…didn’t quite work, but fun try babe ;)
Fun in boyfriends T-shirt...yes, he’s made me (slightly) girly…screw him. He’s getting me to wear less makeup and stuff in my hair…I'm liking the more natural look :)
This weekend i am again spending time with Chason before he goes out of state to help with Creation Fest…yes, i have an awesome boyfriend who volunteers for cool stuff :) So I'm sure I'll have more photos to post soon…it is my goal to get a decent photo of us lol ;)
In this season, life is good, and i am happy.
~Cecily Priscilla
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Fishies…
So tonight I find myself frustrated…I’m not even fully sure why really, but I am…I graduate in a little over a week and I guess I’m a little anxious about getting everything done in time. Graduation wasn’t supposed to be until June 8th, but they moved it up a week to the 1st…it just seems so fast and I feel like I’m going so slow…on top of that I just feel like I can’t find my footing…just unbalanced and thrown off. My head feels as if I have little fishies swimming around and around in there…like a merry go round that’s making me dizzy. I’m not a schedule type, but I think I need to make one for the next couple weeks; I just need a bit of organization before I go batty.
Lots of deep breaths.
Funny mix of feelings here, because in the midst of that I’m really, really happy…I mean I’m graduating bible school!! Something I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do due to some complications. So, even though I’m stressed, I want to smile…and cry happy strange tears. I’ve been crying those happy tears a lot lately, which is different, but very good.
I just want to sit by the water and take all this in…the past 8 months of my life have been the most crazy, exciting, tough, challenging, frustrating, beautiful, and wonderfully happy time of my life so far. I am so blessed. God has been so good to me.
So I’ll just breathe deep, and let it all go. I’ll lay down the anxiety and worry at my Lord’s feet and let Him carry it tonight. It’s all in His mighty hands. He’s got this all figured out, and he’s strong and able.
Let’s rock this.
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” – Mathew 11:28-30
~ Cecily Priscilla
Friday, May 20, 2011
Though it tarries…
“For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. “- Habakkuk 2:3
~
Let it come softly, let it come like a lighting flash, let it come in a still small voice, please let it come, let it last.
Let it come like a rain storm as I sleep, falling suddenly, lulling my eyes into an endless dream.
May it come like the ocean, its depth no one can know. May it be as peaceful as the waves, cleansing the shore as they flow.
Oh, let it be as a song, a sweeping melody. Let the tune drown out these fears, let the notes carry me.
Or maybe it will come as the spring, sunny, bright, and new. Bringing life to all dead things, and making memories new.
Let the roots dig deep, strong as on oak, as withstanding as the olive tree, never dying despite the storms and fires life throws. Let it be life giving, and fruit bearing, let its shade be a place of rest for many.
Yes Lord, send it in the burning sun, the sweet fresh air, let it remind us how to breathe, and let it renew our hearts so that we may once again believe and dream.
~Cecily Priscilla
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Early birthday cows and cupcakes…:)
I was surprised today with an early birthday present of tons of cow balloons and yummy yummy cupcakes from Hey Cupcake in Austin, all thanks to a very sweet and awesome guy…I like boys who buy me cupcakes and cows :)
Birthday cow is cute!!!! I wanna hug her! Clover Clancy is her name :)
Pretty package of cupcakes and pink birthday hat!!! I like pink birthday hats :)
Heaven….with a smiley face!!! Red Velvet,Chocolate with special candy on top, and vanilla on vanilla :) They smelt and tasted lovely! Mmmm :)
My house full of balloons and cupcakes…happy girl :)
So, this guy put in so much effort and thought into this surprise for me…driving the three hours from Austin to my town to drop off the cupcakes to my town flowers shop, driving back and cutting it close to being late for a important meeting…no one has ever done something so special for me. His beyond sweet gift made me tear up a bit, but they were happy tears….I'm so blessed to know him :) His heart is so big, and God’s love just shines through him like crazy, I've never known anyone like him :) He’s super and has tons of hugs coming his way ;) Definitely a happy early birthday for this gal ;)
~Cecily Priscilla
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Summer To Do List :)
Oh summertime, how I love you…you make me swoon. Summer has always been my favorite season; it just feels free and happy. God must know this about me because around this time of year he always introduces some form of random whimsy happiness…God is whimsy, did you know that? Yes, he is very whimsical and random and fun, and the summer always reminds me of that aspect of my Lord. I think I’m just falling more in love with him just typing this remembering all he is and how the sun and the crashing waves and the flowers and sounds of children laughing all reflects his beauty and love and joy…how I can’t wait to get out and see it all again. So in honor of the fact the summer is on our doorstep, I thought I’d post my summer to do list; a list of things I hope to experience in coming sunny months. However, this list is tentative, I have a funny feeling God will change it a bit like he always does…I love that about him :)
~Summer To Do List ~
1. Spend a day at the beach –
I love the beach, the sound of the waves, the feel of the sand beneath your feet, getting to find pretty and interesting sea shells. I love being in the happy sunshine. I haven’t been to the beach in years, I miss it. I want to take a day this year to just relax on the sand and let the sun rays kiss my skin.
2. Buy swimsuit for said beach trip –
Oh, swimsuits…every girl’s nightmare. I seriously haven’t worn/shopped for a bathing suit since I was about 14…so sad. Every year I see those lovely tiny swim suits in the stores and breathe a sigh…and then want to murder those perfect stick girls who I see buying them. But, this year is different, I mean, still want to murder those stick girls, but I feel more confident in my own skin (on most days), and I want to go for the swimsuit dang it! I’m an almost 22 year old woman; this is my prime baby, why should I let my youthful figure go to waste by fearing the bathing suit? I will buy a swimsuit this year that makes me feel comfortable, and like the beautiful, and playful, woman I am, and I will rock it, yo! ;)
Really lovin’ this Betsey Johnson printed halter!
3. Have a pretty picnic dinner party –
Picnics are so sweet and fun! They just take you back to being a carefree kid. I’ve always wanted to do it up big with a picnic dinner party, invite all my friends, decorate the outdoor space really whimsy, throw some twinkles lights up, make awesome and yummy fresh food and fruit pies. Add some awesome folk and/or exotic music and some pretty plates and diner ware, and have everyone dress up…magic :)
4. Attend a summer music festival –
Ah, summertime and sweet music go hand and hand. I’ve wanted to attend a summer festival for years but haven’t got the chance yet. The music, the heat, the food, the different kinds of people…so enchanting, to get lost in a musical sea of pounding drums and blaring guitars all day long would be just heaven. My sister and I are the types that know of every Christian music festival in the U.S., and plan to one day travel to all of them. But until then my goal is to at least make it out to one this year. Maybe Rock the Desert in Odessa…maybe a different one. We’ll see :)
5. Get a tattoo –
I’ve wanted a tattoo since I was 17, but something has always stopped me in the past (mostly my dad lol), but I don’t think I can wait much longer…I mean really how long can a girl be expected wait to feel the rush of the tattoo needle on her skin? Yeah, not longer than 22 years that’s for sure! I’m planning on getting my first one after I graduate from bible school in early June. So jazzed! There are so many tattoos I want…I think I counted about 7 not counting my half sleeve of sweets, and I’m ready to get started on them baby! :)
6. Get my hips pierced –
Okay, so people think I’m crazy for wanting this, but I don’t care! I want my hips pierced! Surface piercings are so intriguing and cool, and I love the way the hip piercing looks, the way it frames the hip bone is just awesome. I’m so aching to do it!
7. Take a road trip –
What is better than being on the road with people you love? Very few things. I’m a road trip lover, there’s something about packing up and taking off early in the morning before sunrise, driving all day popping in random mix cds, and stopping at interesting places along the way, or cuddling up with a fluffy blanket and pillow in the backseat as you watch the stars and drift off to the sound of the road beneath your tires. I love to explore, and road trips are just so magical…okay, so I’m romanticizing it a bit, but they are special when you are with special people. I must take at least one road trip this summer :)
8. Have the perfect small town summer day –
Riding around town eating sno cones and listening to music, walks at the bay, movies at night…saying up to watch the sunrise…:) Reminds me of when I was growing up :)
9. Craft and sew – So my sister and I have become obsessed with the idea of crafting lately, we really want to get into making pretty things with our hands. So we made up our minds to make a list of crafts we want to complete this summer and go to it! So fun! Along with that I’m going to be getting a church member of mine to teach me to sew...oh how I want to be able to alter my old grungy band t-shirts and making them into something a cute and awesome. I have my cherished Sullivan t-shirt I want to make into a rockin’ halter, so I got some learning to do!
10. Get Henna –
I always thought it would be fun to get a henna tattoo, they look so awesome and fun, plus they're not permanent. Summer just seems like the prefect time to do it :)
Cheers friends, hope your summer is filled with fun and lots of smiles :)
~Cecily Priscilla
Friday, May 13, 2011
Purr…:)
Last week after class my doorbell rang and guess what I saw… Rhonda from the flower shop with a bright and spunky bouquet of pink Gerber daises (i love Gerber daises, they are just so happy!!), and a pretty gift bag full of…Red Bull. Oh yes, Red Bull! I really love Red Bull….purrr. It’s like heaven in a pretty blue can.
So yeah, a very sweet and kind boy who made friends with the lady at my town flower shop (I’m not even friends with the lady at my flower shop…this guy is good.) is the culprit of these happy gifts, and all these darn smiles this girl has been wearing lately...God is good :)
So yeah, this post goes out to him…thank you for making me smile lots…meow, purr :)
~Cecily Priscilla
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
You were right after all...
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Cecily’s Slightly Sarcastic Dating Rules Part. 2…oh yes baby, there’s more…
So, I while back I posted a list of some of the dating rules I go by, rules I made after experiencing some “interesting” guys. This is a continuation of that list, because once you think back on your past dealings with guys, you realize that there are so many things you want/need to look out for next time! Yeah, don’t feel bad if you find yourself there, we all do at some point. Love can suck (Sometimes). But, if you know what to look out for next time you will avoid picking that dumb indie/emo guy that ended up acting like he was 12 instead of in his twenties (yeah I said it). So here’s a continuation of my slightly sarcastic dating rules, i hope they help you see the good from the crazy! Cheers!
1. Never date a guy who wears Axe Body Spray, aka “the not yet a man” cologne. A guy who wears Axe is in that stage of life where he is finding his man identity. You can identify him by the cheap smell radiating from him and the pathetic attempt at a beard that just looks like a bear attacked his face and stapled his fur around his mouth. Boys who wear Axe are still in the frat boy state of mind and want to play the cad with all the “babes”. Boys like this will flirt with any female that breathes. Dump the child and find a real man who is serious about life and has goals.
2. Never date a guy who takes shirtless photos of himself on post’s them online. The guys who post shirtless photos of themselves online are egoistical and insecure. They also are cheesy and tacky and if you date them your friends and family will laugh at you. No real man will be so gay to post pictures of himself shirtless that taken by himself. Get a man you can respect and not laugh at behind his back.
3. Never date a guy who compares himself to biblical characters, especially Hosea. When a Christian guy compares himself to Hosea, what he is really doing is covering up for the fact that he is more like Hosea’s wife. This tells you He’s an emotional and/or physical cheater, who will never be satisfied and likes to play the martyr. Run far away fast, and find an honest (and less egotistical) man of God.
4. Never date a guy who follows both David Bazan, AND C.S. Lewis on Twitter…he is confused about his faith and is unstable. He wants to be “Mr. cool” and “Mr. philosophical Christian” at the same time. He will always have one foot in the world, and one foot walking with God.
5. If your boyfriend talks about his therapist in a buddy- buddy way more than he talks about his actual friends that way, then you should be scared and run…and change your number.
6. Always beware of a guy who requests all your family on Facebook. Now, this can be fine and very sweet if the guy wants to know your family, it means he cares and that is very awesome. HOWEVER, if you break up and your ex never deletes your family members from Facebook/Twitter, it will make things very awkward and weird. To ensure that you will not have to live your life with your ex still having some kind of connection, don’t let him friend your family on social networking sites until you are in a committed relationship. Also look out for him having all of his pasts ex’s friends and family members on Facebook…if he’s still talking to his high school girlfriend’s mom, then you should worry baby.
7. Run away from any guy who tells you what his “love language” is, especially if he says its touch. Imagine riding in a car with yo’ boy, and having him tell you “My love language is touch” *sly smile*…yeah, you’re thinking, “there’s no way in hell that you want touch to just express your “love”…you betta back those hands up baby!”. Guys who buy into the “love language” lingo are just emo boys with very loose and sneaky hands and other body parts. “Love language” is creeeeepy and icky, and hella awkward. Go for the guy that simply expresses his love genuinely, and doesn’t feel he has to specify how he shows it…aaaand who is not a total creeper. If your guy does ever tell you that his “love language” is touch, tell him yours is hitting people and if his “showing his love” gets too frisky, you will show yours by punching him in the face :D
8. Make sure your boyfriend has cut ties and/or has tied up the loose ends with his ex before you date him. Otherwise you might find yourself in the awkward position of having your ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s Facebook friend request pending because she requested you because your boyfriend just barely cut emotional ties with her and she was trying to get to know/interfere with your relationship with him, and you had no clue what to do with her request, so you did nothing. Super weird and uncomfortable!
~Cecily Priscilla
Friday, April 8, 2011
Diving deep
There’s so much more to you than we realize, so much more than we like to think; a relationship that does not end. Oh, to dive deep.
To immerse myself in the healing waters, to drink in redemption’s song, to feel the power of the Holy Spirit rushing over me, surrounding me.
I want to dive deep.
I need your power, I need your truth. I need to be refreshed; I need to be reborn in you. I need to dive deep.
I will dive deeply into all that you are, and I will find that you are more than they say you are.
So baptize me in your blood, baptize me with your holiness, let your spirit fall on me Lord, and let me find rest.
Fall on me Holy Spirit, give me your fire. Pour on me, leaving me burning with your love. Give me revelations Lord, give me your words; speak to me and through me until I am lost in all you are.
I will dive, and I will not fight the process.
I will let your cleansing waters consume me; I’ll die to myself to be born in you.
Sweet redeemer, healer, and mighty Lord of all, let my lungs be filled with your breath, my heart be stilled with your love, my soul be ignited with your fire, and my eyes be opened to your holy truth.
Oh my sweet Lord, I am finally diving deep with you.
~Cecily Priscilla
Friday, March 25, 2011
Creativity comes from the things you lack…
The other day my friend Maria came to my home to show my mom and I the new beautiful crafts she has been making, this woman always makes the cutest, most lovely things with her hands, I admire her so. We were talking about crafting and decorating, and my mom was saying how if she had more money she could do so much with her home décor. Now, this is actually funny, because my mom is a wonderful decorator, and has always managed to make her home so lovely, delightful, and classy with very little money. She just has a knack for creating something beautiful out of something so simple, she doesn’t “craft” per say, but she creates her own little things, and puts her own personal touch and spin on items she buys and finds around the house. Because of her, I have always grown up in a home that felt special. Yet, my mom still thinks she could do “better” if she had the money to go and buy the things she dreams of seeing in her home, and while yes it would be great to have the money to do that, Maria said something that hit me, she said that “creativity comes from the things you lack”.
That is so true. If we had the money to buy all the things we want, we would never get to see what we could create on our own; we would never have the desire to dream up things in our minds. We would never get the satisfaction of creating our own things, and knowing that your personality is ingrained in the things you created.
Lately I’ve been in a very creative mode, I feel like getting my hands dirty, if you will, and really letting my mind take over and create beautiful things. I love fashion, I always have, but I don’t have the money to go out and buy a new wardrobe, I have to buy little pieces here and there to fit into what I already have. But when I go into a store, I love, love, just looking at a top or dress, and thinking “I can totally recreate that into something awesome!” I get so much excitement from taking a simple top, or a simple outfit, and putting my own spin on it to make it come to life. It’s the best way to show your personality. The other week I was at a store and found a Beatles sweatshirt, my mind went wild, while on its own it was “blah”, I knew that I could wear a plain black tank underneath it, and because if the way it was made, I could wear it as an off the shoulder top. The store only had a Medium when I needed a small, so to take care of the bigness I tied it to the side and fastened it with a brooch. All together it gave the top a sort of an ‘80’s rock feel. I love it, and got a lot of compliments on it :)
This is what I love doing, taking something “blah” and normal, and making “awesome” and “me” :) I think just paring the right jewelry with something can make an outfit with no personality take on a life of its own. And a normal pair of jeans can be transformed by wearing a tied scarf, or garter around the thigh…it adds spunk. I like spunk :) I also could care less if something is “in” or not, if i like it, then i will wear it…to me this is the only way to live :)
I plan on learning to sew very soon, so then I will be able to alter my own clothing and take my creating to new levels. I also would love to learn crochet since it’s always seemed so fun.
So, you don’t need much money to create rockin’ and special things that look fun and classy at the same time, all you need is passion, your beautiful imagination, and the lack of finances and supplies…ah, how sweet :)
~Cecily Priscilla
Friday, March 4, 2011
He makes all things new…
“And He that sat upon the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new”. And He said unto me, “Write: for these words are true and faithful.” – Revelation 21:5
That scripture has always been one of my favorites, but last Saturday it came alive to me…God used His word to speak to my heart things that I needed to hear. And He also gave me peace and confirmation about something I have wondered about for quite some time now.
It was Saturday and I was in my room doing my makeup, it was a hot day so I had decided to listen to a mix that reminds me of refreshing days by the water, one the songs on that cd is Shawn McDonald’s song “Captivated”, which is a song with a lot of emotional and personal meaning to me. Because of the meaning this song has to me I stopped doing my makeup, moved away from my mirror and laid my head on the foot of my bed, so many thoughts, regrets, questions, and frustrations begin racing through my mind. And right there in the midst of all of my questions God brought the most comforting peace to me, and without me even asking, gave me a confirmation and closure I needed to put this question to rest.
Without going into the specifics, I needed to know that I had a special place in the life of someone I once knew, I needed to know I would be remembered in order to not keep beating myself up for caring for them. I can’t really even explain it, but God brought to remembrance things that had been said by that person, as well as different things about things them, and for the first time I felt in my heart peace about the way things happened between us, and God gave me confirmation that I had an impact and place in that person’s life, that in some way, even if I will never know specifics, I had a place in that person’s heart. It was a hard friendship to loose, I feel so deeply for each friend I have, I don’t like to accept that I can know someone so well, and they can know me, and then we never see each other again…the people I love leave imprints on me. But, God works in seasons, and just like Solomon says Ecclesiastes 3:1, “For everything there is a season,a time for every activity under heaven”, and in that moment God made that so clear to me. And I began to praise Him. That was a season in my life and the life of that person, a God appointed time for us to learn and grow and smile together. And then, once God accomplished what He needed to through that, He closed the door and locked it. And that is so beautiful. I am so thankful for that closed door, I am so thankful that God gave that season when He did, and took it away when He did. Praise God! I was overcome with such thankfulness and joy for my Lord in that moment; I couldn’t help but just cry and lift my hands to Him.
And that wasn’t all that God spoke to me in that moment, what He spoke to me then was something I needed to hear for so long, it was something God that has been trying to get my heart to believe. While I was so thankful that God gave me a peace about that situation, there was still some lingering issues; in my heart I have a hard time believing God will bring into my life new and better things then I have had before. It’s like I have had so many perfect and special moments and relationships and I just don’t believe that what God will bring me next will be as perfect…as suited to me…as happy. I tend to think I’ll have to settle for “alright”. I figure that I’ll be happy, but it won’t be that magical and exciting like other things I have had, it will just be “good”, not “great”. But in that moment God pierced my heart so deeply by His Word; He brought to my mind Revelation 21:5, so I got out my bible (which is my grandpa’s old bible…so special) and I started to read, “Behold, I make all things new”. And He said unto me, “Write: for these words are true and faithful.”
He makes all things new. Let those words sink in for a minute, He [God] makes all things new. Wow. That scripture came alive in that moment, and it was no longer words spoken to and written down by John, it was words for today spoken from my Heavenly Father to me. My God can and will make all things new, and if Him saying it wasn’t enough, He reinforces it by saying “these words are true and faithful”. I love that He said that, I love that God said that he faithfully and truly will make things new. He doesn’t leave room for us to doubt.
It was if time stopped and it was just me and God in that moment when I read His words. And in a gentle convicting and correcting way, God told me that He would make all things new for me, but before He can, I must first trust His true and faithful words. I must trust His promise that He can and will. My heart was still, I had to ask for forgiveness for not believing His true and faithful Words. I love how God will convict us in the most loving ways, very few times has this happened to me where I have felt the piercing questioning of God, but every time I do it cuts just as deep, to the core of who you are.
I need to trust God will make things new for me, how can I expect God to bring in the new if I’m being so child-like and pouting about what I had in the past, underestimating what God will do in my future? How can I be so immature and stubborn to think that the God of all creation, the Alpha and the Omega, can be so small and uncreative to not give me something even more beautiful than I once had? We must never box God in that way, for we forfeit all He wants to do in our lives by holding the past in our hearts and not allowing God’s grace to come in and cleanse and heal all the dust from the past. I must let God make things new in my heart first; I must let His love get a hold of my heart and trust Him with my future; And that means not being anxious and frustrated (Philippians 4:6), and trusting God with all my heart, not leaning on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). Then, and only then, will He have a soft and pliable heart to bless.
That day I understood what God has been trying to get my suborn heart to hear for so long; I will make all things new for you, but trust my true and faithful words first. Thank you Lord for speaking to me! Thank you for speaking when I don’t expect it. My friends, God is so full of Grace that He will speak and reveal things to us through His Spirit, and through His Word. He is in the “still small voice” and not always in the fire and wind (1 Kings 19).
So, Revelation 21:5 has now become my prayer, and I am standing on that promise and quoting it and claiming it daily, letting my Lord’s true and faithful words sink into my heart until I believe it with my soul.
Lord, I believe and trust you are big and creative enough to make all things new. I believe you will take my past and heal it, and make my future burst with your grace and loving blessings, I believe you love me enough to make me new. I love you enough to believe you.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6
~Cecily Priscilla
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Most hated and most swoon worthy love songs…*Ffft, purr purr, ffftt*
Love is such a strange and complex emotion, it’s the thing that can break your heart, and open it up in the same moment.
Millions of songs have been written about the crazy emotion known as love, both really crappy, as well as really beautiful. It’s a known fact that I am not really the biggest fan of love songs, most are just too sappy and annoying for me and make me want to commit crimes that I can’t speak of, but thankfully there are a lot of creative artistic musicians out there that have written some gorgeous love songs that I happen to adore. So, I decided to make a list of some of my most hated love themed songs, as well as my most loved. I meant to post this on Valentine’s Day (aka “I didn’t murder my boyfriend, he just happened to fall on my knife after not buying me a teddy bear that sings Elvis love songs” day) but I was busy and didn’t get to, so I’m posting it now…cuz I rock like that. Hope you enjoy! Feel free to share your lists here as well :)
Love songs that make me want to be violent
1. Lucky – Colbie Caillat and Jason Mraz (“I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend, Lucky to have been where I have been, Lucky to be coming home again, I'm lucky we're in love in every way” . Come on, no one is really that happy…ever. Yes, while you are all smitten as a fluffy white kitten about your Significant other in the beginning, trust me the feeling will wear off soon enough when they start neglecting you, lying to you, and taking you for granted, and then the only thing you’ll feel “lucky” about, is that you have a best friend who knows how to get rid of a body.)
2. ANYTHING by the Plain White T’s (“Hey there Delilah” makes me want to murder boys in skinny jeans. For heaven’s freaking sake Plain White T’s, get another emotion other than love! You are not girls! Stop being so flipping lovey dovey, your band makes me very uncomfortable and squirmy on the inside.)
3. Bubbly – Colbie Caillat (I don’t even really remember how this one goes anymore…err, something about her toes and something on her nose…it makes me want to sneeze.)
4. Anything by Vanessa Carlton (does she ever sing anymore? I hope not. I do like “Noltia Fairytale” though. Sadly though, Miss Carlton’s songs have become every googly eyed girly girl’s anthem.)
5. Truly, Madly, Deeply – Savage Garden (one word; GAY. No real man wants to stand with a girl on a mountain unless they are getting some action on that mountain…yeah, we all knew Darren Hayes was playing for the other team)
6. Anything by Sara Bareilles (excluding her song “King of Anything”, that’s actually good).
7. Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing – Aerosmith (Good Lord, how we were all tortured in ’98 with this, err, power balled??? Aerosmith is cool, but they went so wrong with this over dramatic song about wanting to basically stalk your lover…and not in that sexy hot way either, but in the “oh my, you have nothing else to live for but to watch me…creepy!!!” way. Not cool.)
8. Gardenia – Mandy Moore (“I'm the one who likes Gardenia; I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor” Awkward!!! Thank you Mandy Moore for disclosing way more info than we wanted to ever know about you. Please stop torturing us with your squeaky voice and go enjoy life with your hot husband, Ryan Adams, instead of singing about sex with him….then again, if I had a husband as hot as yours I might sing about it too…)
9. Your Body Is A Wonderland – John Mayer (“One thing I've left to do, discover me discovering you. One mile to every inch of your skin like porcelain, one pair of candy lips, and your bubble gum tongue” Ah John, you never cease to make things awkward. I got what you were going for, but you just made whatever girl (or guy?) you were writing about sound like the amazon or something. Tip to guys, if you’re going to sing about a gals body, do it in a less creepy way.)
10. Forever love (Dígame )– Anna Nalike (“Forever love, Say you'll love, Dígame, Dígame, Tell me so…” I really love Anna, she’s awesome, but this song is dumb!)
11. Haven’t Met you Yet – Michel Bubble (I hate songs that talk about being in love with someone you’ve yet to meet…it’s so cheesy and almost desperate. Do yourself a favor and wait to write a “love song” until you are actually in love with a real person, eh?)
12 . Kiss me - SixPence None The Richer (Don’t talk about kissing…just freaking do it already ;) And what’s bearded barley anyway???! Really though, cute idea for a song, and I’ll admit on like one or two days of my life I have enjoyed it, but it’s just too sappy for me. Listen to New Found Glory’s version, it’s more fun.)
13. Barlow girls – Superchick (Good song, great heart behind it. OVER PLAYED!!!)
14. Wait For Me – Rebecca St. James (I’m all for Virginity until marriage…but freakin’ please don’t sing about it, eh? Christians are famous for playing this song at EVERY WEDDING they have, no matter if the couple getting married already have 5 kids and they just strolled down the aisle with your mother in law, “what kids?” we say, “we see nothing! In fact God didn’t even see anything! You’re a VIRGIN!!!! I mean really, Christians got to stop that.)
15. Falling for you – Colbie Caillat (“I've been spending all my time Just thinking about ya, I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you”, yes Colbie freakin’ Caillat strikes again, ugh, is this girl always so freakin’ in love and happy? “Oh I just can't take it, My heart is racing, The emotions keep spinning out” ..yeah, someone needs to check her meds! )
16. God gave me you – Dave Barns (“God gave me you for the up’s and down’s, God gave me you for the days of doubt”. Blah! This song is so sappy and thankful it makes me want to throw up.)
17. Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop – Landon Pigg (Been there and done that Landon, it was hell, and your song only reminds me of that hell. Thanks.)
18. Brightly Wound – Eisley (at one point I loved this song, then a dumb boy came, along with a really bad two months of being stuck at my grandparents’ house, and now I will forever fully hate it. And that sucks because it’s actually a great song. If I hear it though, I end up wanting want to punch people.)
Love songs that make me all happy and melty in my little strange heart
1. Closer – Nine Inch Nails (Don’t listen if you get offended easily! Lol. Basically, in nicer terms, this song is all about wanting to sleep with someone. I don’t endorse the message, but dang, the music makes me hella melt! Mmmm, soo sweetly and horribly amazing!)
2. Does This Inspire You? – Dies (“Dies” is the industrial side project of Josh Dies, lead vocalist of Showbread. This song is pretty much the moral version of “Closer”, in that it is a “wedding night song” written from a husband to his wife. Think Songs of Solomon. Seriously, this is how you write a love song guys! Take note! The lyrics are not smutty, but steamy and beautiful, filled with love and respect. Just listen and be swooned. “Your heart, it palpitates and spins, your organs dance and sing within, your ribs, they spread like ivory towers, my bride, my love, this night is ours”)
3. Oh! Emetophobia – Showbread (“Dance with me baby, I want to hear your voice, if I didn’t want to fall for you I never had a choice”. This is the song I will play at my wedding someday! A rockin’ and dancy tune about finding the person you love and how they make you feel alive…and Josh screams in it…*swoons* I love boys who can scream me a gritty love song )
4. There Is A Light That Never goes out – The Smiths or Anberlin (a morbid song about how you love being with someone so much that dying together would be beautiful. I love how peacefully morbid and dark this song is, sung by Anberlin, or by The Smiths, it is sure to make you want to find a truck to run into with your lover…don’t do that please, I am kidding. Suicide is not romantic kids…:)
5. I Will Possess Your Heart – Death Cab For Cutie (Ah, a song that makes me feel like stalking my crush and tying him to a chair in my basement and keeping him there until he realizes he loves me…oh, how romantic am i )
6. Not Alone – Sanctus Real (this song has a lot of meaning to me…”You are not alone; know that I will fight the tide to be together”. Real love does not run when it sees danger, it fights.)
7. Everlong - Foo Fighters (Who doesn’t think this song is one FF’s best songs ever?!?! When this song comes on I go to another place, it’s just so intense, and brings a flood of emotions…I love it)
8. Silver Springs – by Stevie Nicks, covered by Stacey Dupree, Jeremy Larson, and Darin King (this one is sad and somber…written about a lost love, and how you could have been loved them and been their everything, but they wouldn’t let you. And since you can’t be with them, you will haunt them and follow them forever, “you will never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you”.)
9. We Mapped The World – Joy Williams (a whimsy tune that will make you want to be whisked away with the one you love to beautiful adventures.)
10. Drumming Song – Florence and the Machine (I adore this song! The intensity and urgency in Florence’s voice, as well as the music, makes this one epic! “There’s a drumming noise inside my head and starts when you’re around, I swear that you can hear it, it makes such an almighty sound”)
11. Simple As It Should Be – Tristan Prettyman (“Put your hands to my hands, put your knees to my knees, put your eyes to my eyes, come on baby complement me” This song embodies my philosophy on love….when true, love is not all confusing and dramatic, it’s easy and free flowing, it’s “Simple as it should be”)
12. Volcano – Damien Rice (Oh Damien Rice, how your voice and music swoon me! This song can make you feel, I mean really feel. It’s oh so sultry and tortured…love it! “Don't throw yourself like that In front of me, I kissed your mouth your back, Is that all you need. Don't drag my love around, Volcanoes melt me down”)
13. This Will Make You Love Again – IAMX (I was introduced to this song by a friend back in December, and from the second I heard it, it became one of my most favorite songs. There’s a point in all our lives where we need something to make us love again, this song expresses that in a very emotional and deep, sultry way. “Every touch is sacred, when they leave the room, If have to switch the lights off, I wanna switch them off with you. This will make you love again. This will make you love again”)
14. Sweet and Low – Augustana (“…But no one’s giving up quite yet, we've got too much to lose. Hold me down, sweet and low little girl, Hold me down, sweet and low and I will carry you home” This song makes me feel so happy and relaxed, Dan Layus’s voice is just so sexy and gorgeous, and the lyrics are full of so much meaning… )
15. # 1 Crush – Garbage (“I will burn for you, feel pain for you, I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart, I'll tear it apart” Hells yeah baby, morbid dark love is so hot and romantic…*swoon, purr*)
16. Goodnight and Go –Imogen Heap (“Why’d you have to be so cute, it’s impossible to ignore you, must you make me laugh so much…” this song makes me so happy :)
17. Love Fool – The Cardigans (“Love me, love me, say that you love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me” Such a fun little tune to go around singing at the top of your lungs)
18. Reflecting Light – Sam Philips (“Looking through the night, and the moon's never seen me before, But I'm reflecting light” I sweetly beautiful song that makes you feel all warm and happy inside…it just feels special)
19. George Romero Will Be At Our Wedding – Showbread (Showbread’s tribute to George Romero’s horror movies, this song is about love that does not die; “I don’t believe that love can rot away , so first aim for the heart then aim for the head. If true love lasts forever then love doesn’t die, it just becomes the living dead”)
20. Heart Shaped Box – Nirvana (“She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak, I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for a week. I was drawn into your magnet tar-pit trap; I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black” ‘nuff said yo )
21. Poison and Wine – The Civil Wars (“You only know what I want you to. I know everything you don't want me to. Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine. You think your dreams are the same as mine. Oh I don't love you, but I always will.” This song pretty much describes my past relationship, but fortunately I love it for better reasons lol, like the fact that it is so enchanting and mysterious. )
22. One Fine Day – The Chiffons (“One fine day you'll look at me, and then you'll know our love was meant to be. One fine day you're gonna want me for your girl” Who doesn’t love this fun and happy song??! )
Honorable mentions:
Follow You Into The Dark – Death Cab For Cutie
Follow Through – Gavin Degraw
Heart Beats – Hose Gonzalez
Flightless Bird, American Mouth – Iron and Wine
~Cecily Priscilla