Do i even know you anymore? Would i even know you? You seem so very far way...worlds and oceans. I miss you my sweet boy. I miss your arms around me. I miss your scruffy beard against my cheek, and the way it used to mess up my hair when you laid your head atop mine. I look at our pictures and it is clear, i do not know you anymore my friend. You are gone. You, my sweet strong boy, you have changed so very much. You are not the same...but then again neither am i. Could we find each other again? You and i, could we find our way back to a place where we share hearts again. Maybe we could find a better place this time,one that won't go up in flames, or be rocked by the worlds storms and quakes. I want to find you; I pray to God you want to find me too. Let us ask our Lord to show us where to look. Look for me my love, please look all around you...find me my dear.
I was reading through some older documents on my computer when i came across that ^....i wrote it last year. It's pretty obvious what i was feeling...i missed the guy i loved and i wanted to know him again. The heart is a funny thing, it feels things that you can't explain or understand...and it feels these things whether you like it or not. I'm not very fond of love, only because i hate when it ends and i have to detach myself from the person that i felt so deeply for...it hurts like hell, and feels like death...and i guess in some ways it is;it's the death of a friendship. I hate missing someone so much that you feel like your heart is going to explode. I've come to find out love is like getting punched in the gut over and over and over, leaving you breathless, exhausted and dazed. However, i refuse to be a jaded person (even though i am on many days), and i have to believe that love doesn't have to hurt, that it heals and sooths, instead of breaking and bruising. I believe in true love. I believe in honest, pure, raw, and real true love. Dear God, help me believe you redeem the human heart.
~Cecily Priscilla
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