Chasing your choices, and losing truth…

Slow down friend, don't get lost in your head, don't get lost in your scars, and the things that haunt you in your past. They are gone, and I am here. Focus, reset, go forward.

I miss my friend...I wonder where he went. I think he got lost somewhere in the pain. Lord, please save him from himself...I love him, and he loves you. Don't let him forget, you died to take his regret and shame, and all his pain...don't let him forget, you are the only truth. Help him to listen to you.

What are you running from, dear? Slow down friend, it is going to be alright. Nothing is going hurt you here. So take off that mask, and breathe in fresh air. I know it is hard to not breathe, so sit with me and breathe for a moment. You don't have to rush away, you know that I care and my heart is here to stay.

Won't you stop for a second love, stop and think about what you are doing, and how you are hurting yourself and I. Put down that phone, and take off work, leave those people that bring you down, and come spend the day with me. We will talk friend, talk about you and I, talk about why you are so scared and why you feel so trapped in this life. I feel trapped to, and I am scared as well, you see, don't feel you have to run from me...I understand.

So, what are you running from dear? Won't you slow down sweet one, and talk to me, tell me what is scaring you? What is making you avoid me? Why do you always cut every tie, why do you never have real relationships in your life?

Come here love, and we will sit by the shore, watch as the fish jump from the water, as we did before. You don't have to leave now, you can stay for a while, I will not hurt you and I trust you will not hurt me. Let's just sit here and watch the stars and keep our eyes fixed on the sky, and we will promise not to leave until it bursts with the mornings light.

Let us take a walk then, and we will hold hands; smiling from ear to ear laughing about a joke you said. Look into my eyes dear, and I promise I will not turn away this time; I will let my eyes show you that I am here to stay.

I wish we could do all of that, but your legs are shaking with anxiety, you have to go you say...have to find your own perfect packaged way. I know it is not my fault, but I feel like it is. I wish I could have given you what you wanted, but I know that it is what will save me in the end. If I gave you what you asked for in the most round about way, it would have only further hurt you and broken us in two. I cannot hurt you sweet, the thought of that makes my heart burst, so I told you no to save you and I anymore hurt. It was not easy for me; I think you should know. I wanted to feel you so very, very close. .

You left me with no real answers, and no real reason. You should have faced me friend, you should have showed me respect, but you chose not to. You chose to run...you chose to run.

And I chose to live and move on.







~Cecily Priscilla